YOU ARE THE ONE! • A Complete Career Guide to Thriving in Your Job Search and Maintaining Wellbeing Every Step of the Way

You’re not in this alone. Despite the irrational sense of shame and the unjustified stigma around being “out of a job / looking for a new job”, at any given moment, millions of people are going through exactly the same process (and dealing with similar emotions) as you are now!

👋 Intro and caveats

When I quit my full-time job in 2021 to pursue a freelance lifestyle, I was cocky. I was a child of  the “Great Resignation” era (pre tech layoffs, although I had already survived two of those, at a time when they were more under the radar). I had 10 high-performing years at Google across three countries, a Master’s degree, and two prestigious American colleges on my resume. I thought I’d be able to re-enter the job market by snapping my fingers, if and whenever I wanted to. I was cocky and 2024 proved me so wrong.

I spent the last 12 months looking and interviewing for a new full-time job, and — simply put — it was the toughest time of my life. It took me way longer to re-join “Big Tech” than it ever took me to join it in the first place. It was an incredibly humbling (yet at times disheartening and dehumanizing) experience and I’ve learned a huge deal about resilience, sustained performance, and self-belief. So obviously, I wanted to share my experience and my learnings with others who may be struggling in a similar way.

First, allow me to share a few important caveats:

• Excluding my post-graduate internship, this was my first time applying for a US job from within the US. I first worked for a US tech company (Google) in Ireland; then relocated to London with a new role; and eventually moved to the US via an internal transfer process, in a new position (which yes, consisted of several and competitive interview rounds, but obviously changing roles and geography from within the same company is not comparable to applying to a new job from outside). Basically, I was a newbie and had to learn everything from scratch.
• I live in my beloved San Francisco, possibly the most competitive job market on the planet. Also, — unlike cities like London, New York, Singapore or even LA, to name another California city — not a very diversified market with plenty of industry options to choose from (tech is king here). Being from small-town, low-income Italy, I grew up with the realization that I was “a big fish in a small pond”. But in highly-competitive, super-educated, wildly-ambitious San Francisco, I soon learned that here I’m not that special after all, I’m just one of many — a “small fish in a ginormous pond”.
• General US unemployment may be low, but data shows that due to inflation, layoffs, and a general decline in optimism in the sector, the tech industry has slowed down hiring in recent years (and way more highly skilled workers are competing for fewer jobs at the moment). A total 180 degree inversion from the trend of 2020-21. Is the bubble bursting?
• I didn’t spam Corporate America with thousands of applications. I carefully selected and applied for roles I felt fully or partially qualified for, and for which I had a compelling story to tell. You can say I have been “choosy” — but it was paramount for me to find the best possible next step in my career, in full alignment with my values, skills and sense of purpose (I think Millennials and especially GenZ’ers understand what I’m talking about here).
• Finally — and this is a very important note — I wasn’t in a hurry or under any external pressure (other than my own impatience and ego). During this time, I had savings, a small freelance income stream, no debts, no kids or dependents, and a loving and amazing spouse who supported me every step of the way throughout my search (more on that topic below!) I know how arrogant it may sound, but I didn’t need to find a job. I wanted to find the right job for me, to relaunch my career. And that takes time. Having said that, looking for a job has been nonetheless a full-time job in itself, not something I took lightly, quite the opposite.

I’m sharing all these caveats because, even if your situation is completely different from mine, I’m fully confident my tips will still apply and resonate, and I hope they can give you some comfort and a bit of guidance (I felt lost along the way so many times, so I hear you!)

🧭 My Job Searching Journey

I know for a fact that I haven’t been alone in this struggle and hundreds of thousands have experienced exactly what I went through myself. However, I noticed that most job seekers are ashamed about their “condition”. They don’t seem to be publicly talking about the struggles, just about the final result (“I’m thrilled to announce I’m starting a new position as…blah blah”). As if the entire process of looking for a new opportunity was this giant scarlet letter on their face. Something to hide, forget and never mention again. 

Well, if you know me even a bit, you know I’m not that person :) What’s the point of spending 12 months struggling to then celebrate a victory like nothing ever happened? Before I can move on and focus on my new beginning, I want to be transparent about the journey that brought me here and, in the process, try to help as many people as I can.

I love data, and in the spirit of oversharing (but also to exemplify how hard it’s actually been), here’s my job seeking journey:

• First application: September 7, 2023
• Offer signed: September 4, 2024
• Total days in between: 362 (12 months)
• Total online applications (including referrals): 267
• Rejection emails by an (allegedly) human reviewer: 88 (and they keep coming)
• Roles I interviewed for: 13 (at 12 companies, including: OpenAI, LinkedIn, Meta, Asana, Notion, Zynga, Snowflake — your loss ;))
• Total interviews: 40 (of which only 4 in person)
• Roles I applied for (and got auto-rejected by the ATS) at the company that ultimately hired me: 12

How can I put it? It’s been...emotional! A deeply emotional rollercoaster ride. I could go on and talk about the feelings of rejection / failure / low self-worth / self-doubt / loss I’ve experienced this past year. I could mention how this search has polluted my home environment, made me cry multiple times, took over nearly every conversation with my partner and friends, and made my family anxious and preoccupied. And I could dwell on my anger and disappointment towards dehumanizing recruiting processes; automated (and astonishingly flawed) ATS screenings; ghosting recruiters (and some former colleagues…); crooked and self-proclaimed career gurus taking over LinkedIn; and just the general lack of human empathy and decency out there. But what would be the point of a rant? You already know all that. So let me focus on solution-oriented advice to get you out of the rut and into your next best role.

Here are the STEPS I followed (S.T.E.P.S. as in Strategy | Tools | Entourage | Preparation | Stamina). Yes, in the process, I learned to love acronyms, so please indulge me here ;))

♟️ STRATEGY

I took my job search as the most ambitious project I was working on. And I approached it with the same methodology and project management philosophy I apply to my work. Or — in more practical terms — think of it as dating. What traits are you looking for in the ideal partner? What’s negotiable and what isn’t? Where are you going to look? What resources and tools do you have at your disposal? Who can you lean on for help? What’s your bio, your intro story, how are you presenting yourself? How are you going to charm them and seal the deal? 

It’s not just about the job or the date, it’s actually mostly about yourself: who you are, what you’re capable and worthy of, and what you ultimately want. The rest is just a matching game. 

The strategy:

• Career mapping of what you’re looking for (e.g. ideal situation, company target list, non-negotiables, etc.)
• Project plan with clear goals, objectives and milestones
• Tracker (and tracking system) for applications, contacts, referrals, recruiter info, referees from previous jobs, etc.

There’s plenty of self-help and career advice literature on the subject. One book I really liked and that has provided me with practical and actionable guidance is “The 2-Hour Job Search” by Steve Dalton. This was recommended to me by a friend at the beginning of my search (thank you Brian!) and it has helped me immensely to find a good structured approach and methodology (although, I must admit I mostly followed my own in the end. Nonetheless, the book gave me a lot of strength and confirmed I was on the right track and doing the right things).

In short, the book will help you to:

• Narrow down your company target list (the “LAMP” list).
• Identify “boosters” at those companies (i.e. people who are willing to help you because they genuinely care about boosting and elevating others).
• Reach out to them and structure informational interviews with the goal to turn them into allies and eventually connect you to an opportunity.
• Follow a structured and methodical approach, with weekly calendar reminders to follow up, template messages, etc.

🛠️ TOOLS ↴

There’s something “Darwinian” about job searching (survival of the fittest). And, although I’m always a humanist at heart, I believe that the sooner we adapt to (and adopt) the latest technology, the more chances at success we’ll have.

• LinkedIn

During my search, I’ve developed a “Stockholm syndrome" towards LinkedIn. It will be your best friend and — trust me — your most hated social media at the same time. While looking for a job, I slowly detoxed from Instagram and found myself spending hours a day glued instead to LinkedIn. It’s undeniably necessary to research jobs and most importantly people, but should come with a health warning: “causes addiction and depression, use in moderation”. I’m serious: set up a timer and give yourself plenty of breaks! Although it was obviously instrumental, I spent SO much time on it, I’m now most looking forward to not having to be on it 24/7. Most importantly, do not fall into the trap of comparing your experience with others. Most people are only on LinkedIn to show off, not to help or inspire you!

🔥 Hot tip: here’s how to download you LinkedIn data and obtain a .csv file of all of your connections nicely organized in a spreadsheet by name, last name, title, and company name (with their email addresses, if they were originally provided and made sharable): Settings & Privacy > Data Privacy > Get a copy of your data > select: “Connections” & “Imported Contacts > Request archive

• AI tools

I can’t believe I got this far into my post without talking about AI. This was the biggest learning curve for me: the amount of AI tools (and the expectation you’ll use them) to boost your job search. Here is what I used and can recommend:

• Enhancv — for crafting beautiful and ATS-friendly resumes and cover letters. The integration with ChatGPT seamlessly enables you to adjust your intro paragraph and provides helpful suggestions. (Yes, I did create a different and unique resume for each and every application!)
• Cultivated Culture — I found this to be a great tool to help you match your resume to the job description and increase your chances to be “selected” by the robots…ahem…the ATS. It helped me secure interviews at OpenAI. 
• Teal — Probably the most advanced / comprehensive among the three, but I only played with it for a bit. It has a LinkedIn plug-in and allows you to also track application status.
• ChatGPT / Gemini / your favorite AI companion — I’m a human writer who’s enjoyed writing from an early age, so obviously I don’t appreciate delegating to machines. However, I must admit brevity and conciseness are not my forte, so sometimes GenAI can help get my message across more effectively. Most importantly, I used prompts in ChatGPT and Gemini to research companies’ business models, help me prepare for interviews by anticipating my weaknesses based on my resume, and even conduct mock interviews to practice. Fun fact: OpenAI interviewers asked me all questions generated from the same ChatGPT interview prompts I used ;) I found it hilarious, but it also made me pass the initial test (“can you use our products?”)

There’s something “Darwinian” about job searching (survival of the fittest). And, although I’m always a humanist at heart, I believe that the sooner we adapt to (and adopt) the latest technology, the more chances at success we’ll have.

• Application tracker

Use a spreadsheet (my downloadable template here) to track your applications and their status. Visualizing progress helps you stay grounded and gives you a sense of accomplishment. It also gives you an “at a glance” overview of all the opportunities in your pipeline. And when you get “rejected”, you reject them back by striking and hiding an entire line on your spreadsheet. It’s a small thing, but I’ll make you feel a bit better.

• Appointment scheduler

Create a free recurring appointment schedule on Google Calendar (step-to-step instructions here) with a booking link. This is fairly easy to set up once, and will immensely automate things once you start reaching out to people to schedule informational chats. Alternatively, you can use third-party tools like Calendly.

• Voice recorder

Record yourself as you practice your interviews. I recommend using the Google Recorder app on your Android device (or the equivalent on iOS), which automatically transcribes your speech (so you can search keywords and jump to a certain section easily). You can then access all of your recordings and transcripts on the app or at https://recorder.google.com/. Alternatively, ask a human friend or your speech-enabled AI companion tool (e.g. “Voice Mode” on ChatGPT) to help you practice mock interviews.

🙌 ENTOURAGE

In an ocean of NOs, all you’ll need is one YES.

You’re not in this alone. Despite the irrational sense of shame and the unjustified stigma around being “out of a job / looking for a new job”, at any given moment, millions of people are going through exactly the same process (and dealing with similar emotions) as you are now! Nonetheless, I know this is a rough, uncertain, sensitive, lonely time. Which is why it is absolutely paramount that you get yourself the best possible “entourage” of cheerleaders, boosters, and mentors. And remember, a support system is not only made of people who give you advice or get you connected to opportunities… The most important support you’ll need at this time is the emotional kind. It’s friends, family, and spouses who will provide reassurance and motivation to keep going with your search. Be gentle to them too, in return. They also will accompany you on this emotional rollercoaster, and — whether they tell you or not — they’ll be affected by the very same challenges, obstacles and frustrations that you experience and share with them. 

I’m incredibly thankful to the mentors, old bosses, referees, coaches, boosters (and everything in between) who supported me throughout this crazy journey. But I could have never made it or kept myself together without the unconditional love, encouragement and support of my wonderful husband (literally, a Saint), my mother, some extended family members, and my closest friends — who never once doubted me or questioned my worth and ability to eventually succeed. They provided a safe space for me to share ambitions and hopes, and they listened to and comforted me when I felt like I had fallen and failed. Thank you!

Here’s how to get your dream team together:

• Family and close friends — You know who they are and who you can count on for emotional support, or even better, you’ll find out throughout this process…
• Previous managers and directors — It’s totally OK (expected?) to reach out to former managers and directors and ask for advice, discuss ideas and strategies, and inquire about potential future job openings. Remind them of your value and the contributions you made while on their team, and offer to help with consulting, contracting work or pro-bono projects. Assess whether they’d be open to mentor you on an ongoing basis, and in case, set up a reminder in your calendar to follow up every few months, to share updates about your search.
• Company alumni groups  — Google has an alumni group (the “Xooglers”) with over 30,000 members globally. I joined it and was lucky enough to attend a few online and in-person career sessions with experts, but also to network (or reconnect) with former ex-colleagues. It didn’t lead to a job, but it provided support. By talking to other job seekers during an happy hour in San Francisco, for the first time I realized I wasn’t alone in this and that many other talented individuals were struggling just as much (if not more). It provided a sense of sanity and perspective, and we were able to share notes and resources. See if your former companies have similar groups and reach out! 
• Affinity / diversity support groups — As a gay man, I’m part of the Out in Tech network. They also organize virtual and in-person networking events, webinars and career fairs. Research some affinity groups in your region or online and see what they offer. I’ll be honest, sometimes, I attended webinars or events not because I found them particularly useful, but because I wanted to be part of something, and feel less isolated.
• Online professional / job seeking groups — Obviously there are plenty of professional groups on LinkedIn and other platforms, but one in particular was recommended to me (although I haven’t given it a try): “Never Search Alone” (book here).
• Career coaches and yes, therapists too — If you’re feeling stuck at any point, reaching out to a professionally accredited career coach may be beneficial. You could have a career mapping session, brainstorm target companies and roles, discuss career changes, and work together on a plan forward, especially if you’re really busy or in a particularly unique situation. I just urge you to do your research (or ask trusted people for recommendations), as the internet is full of vultures ready to capitalize on your despair. Reaching out to a professional therapist could also be a good idea to help support your emotional and psychological wellbeing during the job search. Don’t underestimate that aspect! When you eventually do get the new job (see what I did there? Positive reframing! Not if you get a job, but when you do. It’s only a matter of time!) … When you eventually do get the job, you want to be fully charged and ready for the journey ahead, and not completely depleted. More on this topic in the “Stamina” section below.
• School alumni — It’s not just in the movies! Americans take their colleges really seriously. And a college affinity is a powerful bond. It’s pretty standard for alumni of the same educational institution to lean on each other for advice, warm introductions or referrals. After applying 12 times at the same target company (and getting automatically rejected by the awful Workday’s ATS), I eventually broke through thanks to the internal referral of a University of Michigan’s friend and alumni. Steve got my foot in the door (thank you buddy!) by getting my resume under the eyes of a human being. It turns out the ATS was brutally wrong: I was the perfect candidate for that job. The rest is history. GO BLUE!!! (And long live humans!)

The moral of the story here is: 

1. Don’t be shy and really own your job search. With self-determination, optimism, and presence. You got this!
2. Reach out. Reach out. Reach out. That may not come naturally to some people or cultures, however with practice and a good framework (e.g. “The 2-Hour Job Search” or similar) you too will overcome the discomfort and fear.
3. The ATS (aka “the robots”) got nothing on you and a “rejection” is not a reflection of your worth. Keep persevere. In an ocean of NOs, all you’ll need is one YES.

📕 PREPARATION ↴

The most uncomfortable truth about a job search, is that it all really starts from “searching inside yourself”.

Which is a perfect segue into my favorite topic: preparation. And not just preparation ahead of an interview. I mean preparation for the entire process, for every step of the way (from application to the first recruiter call, from the panel interviews to offer negotiation). Be prepared! 

You are the “product” the company is “buying” and investing in. I don’t mean to sound like the marketer that I am, but do think about the following. As a “product” that you are trying to sell:

• What are you made of? What’s your story? Why should they want to “buy” you?
• What are your USPs (Unique Selling Points)? How are they differentiating you from other competitive “products” on the market?
• What is your Value Proposition? What problems are you going to solve for the “buyer”? What needs are you fulfilling?
• What is your “branding” and overall “packaging”? (And are they consistent with your value prop?)
  • How are you presenting yourself and telling a compelling story that sets you apart from the rest?
  • What does your resume look like? Does it reflect your LinkedIn profile (and vice versa)? Do you have a portfolio (or could you create one to illustrate your work)?
  • How do you dress and conduct yourself during an interview (and after)?
  • What is your body language saying about you?
  • How are you building rapport?

The most uncomfortable truth about a job search, is that it all really starts from “searching inside yourself”. It’s about who you are as a person and as a professional; your motivations and aspirations; what success stories you choose to tell; and how you package it all together to present a compelling case. Be sure of who you are, what you’re looking for (and what you’re not willing to compromise), and what you bring to the table. If you are, no rejection will really ever hurt you — you’ll just accept that it wasn’t the right fit for you (not the other way around).

Plus, when you are prepared and give it your best shot every time, you’ll be more confident in your abilities and feel at peace with yourself even when you don’t succeed. And remember that “success” in this case isn’t measured by getting any job, but by getting the best possible job for you at this time. That’s the successful outcome.

Here are a few things about preparation I learned along the way:

• Resume and cover letter

Despite the overwhelming amount of contrasting opinions on this subject, I haven’t been able to find the magic formula for crafting the perfect resume. What I did realize, is that the ATS is really king here and the first port of entry for your application. The goal is to get a pair of human eyes to scan your qualifications for a few seconds and give you the benefit of the doubt. In order for that to happen you either:

• Need an internal referral.
• Or your resume must contain a series of keywords that match the job descriptions to get the ATS to consider you. 

I had different experiences here. I have both been selected for interviews with a “generic resume” (i.e. not ATS-optimized) and I have been automatically rejected when the resume closely matched the job description (and I was perfectly qualified for the role). So there’s no absolute truth here, perhaps just a bit of luck.

I wrote cover letters only for the top roles I was very interested in. They allow for a bit more storytelling, they are liked by the ATS and — if selected for an interview — they provide the hiring manager with a bit more color about you (and sometimes, that does make a difference!)

• LinkedIn profile

As mentioned earlier on, LinkedIn and I are frenemies. While job searching, LinkedIn will be both the savior and the tormentor. Use it with caution (I’m serious, I did spend hours a day on it, looking for opportunities, people, or just getting a bit lost in it, after too much scrolling. It’s a time warp!

Having said that, LinkedIn is your “shop window” (remember, you are the “product”!) so make sure you’re a good “window display designer” and present yourself and your experience in a professional and compelling way. How you do it (intro bio, banner image, keyworks, recommendations, etc.) is completely up to you, your style and the industry you’re in (or are applying for). 

Just remember: in most cases, your LinkedIn profile — not the resume you applied with — will be considered the “source of truth” by recruiters, hiring managers and interviewers alike. Activate a Premium subscription to see who viewed your profile and you’ll understand what I mean. You’re free to customize your resume depending on the position you’re going for, but keep it as close as possible to your LinkedIn profile, as the two may be cross-referenced for accuracy.

• Portfolio website

Unless you’re going for a creative role (or a highly technical one, where coding is required), you’ll hardly ever be asked to present one. I created one to differentiate myself, complement my resume, and tell a more visual story about my projects and accomplishments. But that’s me, I’m a visual learner and storyteller, so it’s easier for me to get my point across by showing rather than just telling. Nothing too fancy or complicated: I simply crafted a Google Slides presentation and directed my personal web domain to it, to make it easily accessible (but you can use URL shorteners like bit.ly to achieve the same).

🔥 Hot tip #1 (if you opt for Google Drive slides): when you share your deck, change the final part of the URL from /edit to /present. That way the link will open in full screen mode and look more like a website than a presentation deck.

🔥 Hot tip #2: if you want to look even more professional (even without being a web designer), you may consider tools like Notion to create a simple, beautiful and streamlined portfolio site. Or if you’re applying for technical roles (i.e. where coding is required), obviously Github pages will be your best friend. For data roles, it’s Tableau Public. And so on…

• TMAY (Tell Me About Yourself) story

This to me was one of the most difficult stories to craft. Which is so ironic considering that I know myself so incredibly well and I take pride in being a “storyteller” and openly share vulnerable experiences with a bunch of strangers on the internet all the time. But for some reason, I froze for days when it came to write a compelling story about my professional self. They also call it the “elevator pitch”. How could I possibly summarize my achievements, interests, aspirations, values and convey a compelling narrative in 2 minutes or less? Is it a TikTok video or something? It was very outside of my comfort zone.

I started with this bullet point structure (but you should follow your instinct when it comes to telling your own story): 

• Who is Marco the person? [Personal identity, what’s important to me and what makes me me] — Where I’m originally from, where I lived and studied, what languages I speak, and mention my love for travel. A quick anecdote about how my career and love life started at the same time, in Ireland, when I met my husband while working at Google.
• Who is Marco professionally? [Professional identity and a few high level career highlights] — The true line of my career is being a community builder and a marketer. I'm most proud of [X], [Y] and [Z] projects. The most defining moment of my career has been [W]. I’m passionate about humanizing and championing new technology, making it accessible, inclusive and helpful [quickly explain how]. 
• How does Marco set apart from the competition? [My USPs, how I’m different, and what makes me unique] — [Skill 1]; [Skill 2]; and I’ve built and managed my own video content community.
• Why is this role perfect for Marco? [This is your final hook, leading into your motivations for applying] — I was attracted to this role because of [X], and I believe I can have an impact in [Y] and [Z].

Note that this is just an outline and I’ve never used the same one twice, nor did I memorize my TMAY. I find that having some bullets to anchor my story is helpful, but I much rather follow the energy of the room (virtual or in person) and the vibe of the role / company. I recommend you also don’t try to memorize a script or — worse — read it from your screen. Sometimes, nerves get the better of you and you’ll end up forgetting bits of your “speech”. Plus, you certainly don’t want to give the impression you’re reciting a part (personally, I find people reading scripts off their screen to sound robotic, unapproachable and hard to take seriously. Unless they're really good at enacting the script). Learn your bullets. It’s YOUR story after all. Who else can tell it better and more naturally than you?

Also, some interviewers will surprise you by going a bit off-script and asking to provide a slightly different intro, or in a different style, or they will skip the question all together. Being prepared also means remaining flexible.

• STAR stories (or CAR)

Yes, it’s all about the stories we tell. These ones are actually about your own projects, accomplishments and also struggles (and how you overcame them). 80% of your interview time will be on this type of behavioral or situational questions: “Tell me about a time when you had to accomplish [X] but you didn’t have [Y]”; or “Imagine that you’re in [situation X] with [condition 1, 2, and 3]. How would you behave to accomplish [Y]?”

Again, do not improvise. Interviewing is all about preparation and ultimately practice. To calm myself down before an interview, I tell myself: “It’s showtime!”. Because it is. A job interview is ultimately a showcase of a series of examples hand-selected by you to demonstrate that you have the skills to perform well on that job. Nothing more than that. No one is testing you on abstract concepts — they just want to know what projects and situations you’ve dealt with (and how); how you would behave if you were to get the job; and who you are as a person and as a professional. So be prepared, and show them! It's showtime! 

Career coaches recommend selecting and outlining at least 10 STAR stories (Situation | Task | Actions | Results) as part of your preparation, and to structure your answers in that order. Personally, I much prefer the more streamlined CAR method (Context | Actions | Results), in which “Situation” and “Task” are combined under “Context”. Basically, for each example of a project, program, or situation you choose to share, interviewers want to understand:

1. Context — What is the project / situation? What were you trying to achieve and why?
2. Actions — How did you achieve those objectives? What steps did you take?
3. Results — What was the impact of your work? Did you successfully complete the task at hand (and if not, why?) What were the success metrics? What did you learn? What would you do differently?

For example, if you were asked “Tell me about a time when you had to deal with a difficult internal stakeholder?” You’d start answering by explaining the [C] context of this specific instance. What teams were you two respectively on? What was the specific project and what you were trying to achieve? And why was your stakeholder being difficult? Then, you’d move on to explain which [A] actions you took to de-escalate or smooth things out between you two. Did you ask for feedback? How did you take it? How did you move the project forward and solve the issue between you? And finally, you’d close with the “grand finale”, the happy ending [R] results. What were the outcomes of your actions? How did you turn this into a mutually beneficial collaboration? And how did it positively impact the overall project? Use as many metrics as they are available to you.

In preparation for my interviews, I prepared 20 CAR stories (but honestly, 10 will be enough) from a variety of roles, projects, and situations I found myself in professionally. Here’s the template I created for you to download and fill out. Remember to not only include projects but also specific examples or instances showcasing things like:

• Cross-functional collaborations (both successful and not so successful).
• Conflict or disagreement with a manager / stakeholder / customer and how you resolved it.
• Dealing with difficult feedback.
• And anything else that’s relevant for the type of roles you’re interviewing for and that may come up.

You may be surprised to find out that interviewers are not that creative and usually the questions you’ll be asked by different interviewers at different companies (especially for similar roles) tend to follow a similar structure every time. So — again — if you prepare well, nothing should come as a curveball. Practice and repetition will help here. Just make sure you don’t draw all of your examples from the same few STAR/CAR stories all the time, especially with different interviewers in the same recruiting process (they do take and share notes, you know). You want to be sure you pick from a variety of scenarios and past situations, and display a wide array of experiences.

Answers should always be well structured (following the STAR/CAR method) and concise, allowing some time for follow up questions. A few good tips I got: 

1. Use the interviewer name in your answers to create rapport and relatability (“as you well know John, working cross-functionally can be challenging…”). 
2. Close your answers (especially when you’re in doubt whether you gave a satisfactory one), by asking “Did that make sense to you John?” By doing so, you give the interviewer permission to ask a follow-up or clarifying question.

• Questions for the interviewers

“I don’t have any questions” is probably the biggest recruiting red flag. Again, preparation is key and this YOUR time to (1) show you did your research, (2) show you care, but most importantly (3) is your only chance to “interview the interviewer back” and learn more about the role, the culture, the company and if it’s all a good fit for YOU! “Do you have any questions for me?” in my experience only happens in the very last few minutes of the call (think 3-5 minutes). It’s a short time you get to look smart, ask smart questions and leave a final positive impression. See it as your “closing statement”.

🔥 Hot tip: a question I LOVED asking hiring managers at the end (especially when they had a bit of a poker face and I wasn’t sure whether I fully convinced them or not) is: “Are there any final concerns or doubts about my experience that I can help address, or gaps I can help close before we part ways?” — This is an important question! It (1) demonstrates that you’re open to feedback and that you genuinely care about getting the job; and (2) gives the hiring manager / interviewer permission to ask clarifying questions rather than dwelling in potentially negative biases or misunderstandings that may end up eventually costing you the job. And most importantly, (3) it allows you to clear the way from doubts, reposition yourself or clarify something you said (or better, add something you forgot to mention), and have a strong closing argument. Never ever assume strangers on the other side of the table get you and your background right away, they’re not fortune tellers after all. Instead, make them feel comfortable about asking you one more question and put their mind at ease.

• Thank you notes

Every career coach and manual is clear about this: do it, it’s the etiquette. Unfortunately, in my experience, email addresses of interviewers are rarely shared with candidates these days. To circumvent this problem, I sent a LinkedIn connection request with “Add a note” instead. There’s no pressure on the interviewer's side to accept your request, but at least they’ll get to read your thank you note. However, whenever the interviewer’s or the hiring manager’s email address was willingly provided to me, I’ve always found that a thank you email was way more appropriate. Whatever you send, make sure you do so within 24 hours of the interview (again, this is an extra chance to leave a good impression, so don’t waste it. Do sound genuinely grateful and mention something from the “chat” that was thought provoking or inspiring). And please, don’t use ChatGPT (or similar) for this… You should be able to compose a short, authentic, and professional email yourself!

• Uncomfortable (but necessary) follow ups

Remember: you’re interviewing the company just as much as they’re interviewing you. When things don’t go as intended (or badly) it’s in your rights to flag it and speak up. Without getting into details, I had a couple of negative interview experiences which I flagged to both the hiring managers, the recruiters and the HR managers for the respective roles. In one instance I received a formal apology and a promise they’ll use my feedback to improve their processes going forward. In the other one, I was ignored. Which is also why Glassdoor interview reviews are important! Write them to help and warn other fellow candidates, and read them before an interview. In my experience, they tend to be pretty accurate and very telling of a company’s culture. 

Once again — whether it’s an employer’s economy or a job seeker’s economy (note: at the time of writing and in my sector, it’s the former) — YOU are the talent that needs to be matched to the right opportunity for you. You are interviewing those companies too, and if their recruiting practices are troubling, you should voice it (preferably in a concise, polite and constructive way, especially if you think you might interview at that company again in the future).

Looking for a job is already an incredibly stressful, uncertain and delicate time. The very least you can expect from any company out there is to be treated with respect. That is not negotiable.

Other things I prepared:

• Motivation — Know why you want this specific job at this specific company and make a compelling case for it.
• Why Me attributes — List three attributes that make you uniquely qualified for this specific job. You can then leverage these as talking points for your “closing statement” 
• Value matrix — What are the company values listed on their website? How do they align with yours? And how have you demonstrated those values in your working / personal life?
• Strengths VS Weaknesses — Be ready to share a few examples.
• Energizers VS Drainers — This exercise is helpful early on, when you’re career mapping. Identify a list of tasks that energize you in your current or past job and a list of tasks that drain your energies. This will help you know what you want and identify red flags during the interview process.
• List of non-negotiables — Things you’re not willing to compromise on.

🔋 STAMINA ↴

Of course you WILL find another job! Of course you are enough! Of course you are worthy of a good job (and everything else in between).

As clichéd as it sounds, looking for a job is a marathon not a sprint (well, unless you’re incredibly lucky and/or in demand). Whether it takes you only a few weeks to bounce back into a new role, months, or even years, I'm not going to lie — the process is daunting, emotional and tiring. It may take a toll on your self-esteem, make you question your competence, and it may even bring you to think “I will never find another job again!” I say this, because I felt it. I felt it all. In the position I am in now it’s easy to tell you “it’s actually all irrational” (well, it actually is) because in the midst of it, it felt all so real.

And yes, it can be a lonely process, full of curveballs, detours and false starts. After each “rejection” email, after each unsuccessful interview process, you’re going to pick up the pieces, recompose yourself, reassess your strategy, and move on. Going through 13 interview processes meant I had to start from scratch 12 times. Each time was a little harder to go back to square one and pretend nothing had happened. But the good news is that each time will also get a little easier! Because you’ll be more prepared, you’ll have more practice under your belt, and you’ll have tested different strategies along the way. It’s a new “showtime”, remember? Look at each “failed attempt” as a “rehearsal” that’s getting you closer to the final big “movie premiere”. And by then, you’ll be so ready for the final show, there will be a red carpet waiting for you. Can you hear the audience applauding? You got the job!

Throughout this time, your mood swings (whether you’re aware of them or not) will inevitably end up affecting the loved ones around you. As I mentioned above, it’s paramount to build your entourage, your cheerleader team of supporters. But it’s equally as important to be mindful that your search will affect them too. 

Which is why you need to build some stamina and resilience, especially if it takes some time to land the right opportunity. And most importantly you need to have boundaries and a “weekly regiment” that is sustainable for you in the long run (e.g. I would only be looking for jobs Monday through Thursday in the afternoon).

Here are some tips based on my experience on this rollercoaster:

• Time boundaries

Ensure you have a structured approach (review all sections above to learn more) but most importantly that you have a clear job searching schedule. You may not be “working” at the moment, but remember that looking for a job is a job in itself, and the same rules of work / life balance apply.

• Schedule time in your calendar for job searching activities and stick to it.
• Keep an eye on how much time you spend on LinkedIn and similar platforms.
• Build in screen-free breaks.

• Exercise

Whatever that means to you, just do it. Endorphins will be your best friends and saviors! I scheduled exercise most days of the week and dedicated the afternoon to job searching, informational calls, and applying or interviewing. Honestly, this is one of the few things that kept me sane and healthy this past year. It allowed me to keep my energy levels high, to release anxiety and frustration…and I even got fitter and lost weight in the process. And the crazy thing is that I had never even been a “sporty” person before. Here’s my sample schedule:

• Monday: A 40 minute, 7 mile interval jog (4 minute jogging + 2 minute power walking), followed by stretching
• Tuesday: A 40 minute HIIT training at home, followed by stretching
• Wednesday: A 60 minute yoga session (in a studio)
• Thursday: Either another jog, some other lighter exercise, or resting day
• Friday: A 60 minute yoga session (in a studio)
• Weekend: rest, recharge and fun time (sometimes, I threw in a dance!) The weekend is sacred, I’m serious. I don’t work on weekends, and I don't job search on weekends. It is my and my family's time. Time to play, plan life, enjoy nature, laugh with friends, dance, explore, travel, have fun, eat well, be funny, rest, love, care about anything else but work.

Don’t know where to begin? ClassPass is a great way to explore fitness classes in your city, without having to commit to each studio or gym’s monthly subscription. Dip your toes in and see what’s out there. You’ll end up meeting fellow humans and will feel more energized and less lonely. Here’s my referral link for you to claim a free trial and 20 credits for your first fitness classes. (I’m a huge fan of yoga, and I can highly recommend it — it has literally changed my life!)

For those who, like me, are hesitant to begin exercising in a studio and prefer to try it out at home first, I highly recommend the iOS app Home Workouts - No Equipments. I've found this app to be instrumental in helping me regain my fitness. It provides a range of workouts, including running, HIIT training, and other home exercises, allowing me to work out effectively and conveniently from the comfort of my own home.

• Rest and recharge

Counterintuitively, sending hundreds of job applications won’t increase your chances of getting a job. It will only result in more of your applications being ignored or rejected. You’ll feel like you’ve worked really hard on submitting all of those resumes, but you’ll also feel more drained and less accomplished in the long run. Work smarter, not harder. Get warm intros, talk to people, expand your network, reconnect with folks, attend events. And do rest in between — you’ll need plenty of energy.

• Playtime

Yes really! Don’t forget that in order to support your stamina you won’t just need food, hydration, exercise and rest. We often forget that energy comes in different forms and our energy levels are several:

• Physical
• Mental
• Emotional 
• Spiritual 
• And more…

Whether you’re open to it or not, this is not woo-woo stuff. Make sure you listen not only to your body, but also to your mind, your heart (rate), and ultimately your spirit (or your mood, if you’re not a spiritual person). Practice self-awareness and check-in with yourself often. Once you assess your “energy levels”, make sure you refuel accordingly.

Other than a healthy diet (with a few treats every now and then), weekly exercise, yoga, and resting — I found that “playtime” played the most important part in my “refueling” regiment and in maintaining stamina. In our adult lives, we frequently neglect a critical aspect of our humanity: play. We take ourselves too seriously and fail to prioritize activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. It's essential to carve out space for the things we love, the things that make us feel good and give us a sense of purpose.

As a creative person at heart, listening to music, writing, making videos, have all been part of my journey of self (re)discovery and (re)balancing. But playtime doesn't need to be necessarily creative, it has to be whatever makes you happy. Whether it’s spending more time with your kids, cultivating your hobbies, or learning new ones — whatever gets you into a “flow state” is as deserving of your attention as looking for a new job. Plus, playing is the ultimate recharging and will positively affect every other aspect of your life. It’s never time wasted! 

Here’s my personal “playtime menu”, in case you need some inspiration:

• Music — Spotify has become my most trusted companion (second only to my husband). I play music when I walk, when I run, when we eat dinner at home, even as I’m writing this now. Music has accompanied, cheered me up, and inspired me along the way. 

Getting ready to interview and need a power boost? I created this free playlist for all of you job seekers out there: “Today, I’m gonna slay ✨” — It contains some of my favorite tunes, which I listened to while job searching and right before most of my interviews. (Note: given the amount of divas in there, this playlist will probably appeal to women and LGBTQ+ folks more than others, but hey, no one will judge you for expanding your listening profile ;))

• Reading (not on your phone, put your phone down!) — After spending hours browsing LinkedIn on your laptop and applying to roles, the most toxic thing you can do to your mind is taking a “social media break”. There are no “breaks” on social media. Stop doomscrolling, I’m serious. I found myself moving away from LinkedIn and getting sidetracked (lost?) on other social apps, only to waste an incredible amount of time which I could have dedicated to “playtime activities” that actually recharge me and make me feel good about myself. Why do we do this masochistic thing to ourselves, and to what benefit?

Eventually, I stopped scrolling and grabbed a book (e-books are OK too, just don’t use your mobile device for them, get yourself a Kindle!)

During my job searching year, I grew fond of this British murder mystery series: “Agatha Raisin” by M.C. Beaton (35 books, I’m currently reading #16 — they are addictive, in a good way). Just like my Spotify’s music, Agatha has kept me company throughout this stressful journey and provided much needed relief, grounding and relaxation. Plus, although she’s a fictional character, I think we may be somehow related… ;)

Whatever reading you chose — light and unchallenging like mine, or something more elaborate — books will tame your anxiety and make you forget about that ghosting recruiter that made you feel unseen and unworthy.

• Other things I found incredibly therapeutic: gardening; cooking; organizing small dinner parties with close friends; dancing (at home or in bars); getting back at making videos on my YouTube channel; planning weekends away; reconnecting with family overseas; and obviously sharing life and intimacy with my spouse (🔥 hot tip: if you aren’t already, cuddling before bed and first thing in the morning will make you 10x happier and less stressed than any drugs or strenuous physical activities would). If you’re single or in a “complicated relationship”, don’t panic. There are plenty of daily opportunities to hug it out (think of family members, close friends, pets, even…trees?)

• Positive reframing, daily encouragement and acts of kindness (to yourself and others)

I briefly mentioned the importance of “positive reframing” in the entourage section above. It is the act of “thinking about a negative or challenging situation in a more positive way. This could involve thinking about a benefit or upside to a negative situation that you had not considered” (source: Harvard University). You’ll have to actively remind yourself about this, and reframe your negative thoughts as soon as you catch yourself having some. In my lowest and loneliest moments, I convinced myself that I was never going to find another job (your mind will trick you into negative self-doubting thoughts, and they will feel so real it will be hard to escape from them at times). When you catch yourself trapped in a negative thought, try to be more rational than emotional: of course you WILL find another job! Of course you are enough! Of course you are worthy of a good job (and everything else in between). It’s not about whether you will find a job, it’s about when you’ll find the right job for you! And you will, it’s statistically guaranteed, but it’s hard to see it (and believe it) when you have a dark cloud all around you. Again, when you prioritize your mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing, that cloud will slowly dissipate and everything in front of you will appear a lot clearer.

Leave encouraging and reinforcing messages to yourself. Something I did was change the lock screen of my phone and add a short but powerful sentence: “You got this!” I keep forgetting about it and being surprised when I grab my phone and see it. Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Love, appreciate and forgive yourself every day. Your future self will thank you.

A few years ago, when I quit my job, my retired friend and neighbor gave me this little toy and told me: “When I saw it, I thought of you — It was a little robot, sitting on a chaise longue looking frightened and stressed out. — “May it be a reminder of everything you should no longer be”. I’m keeping it on my desk, next to a corporate Oscar-looking award I won as “Best Editor, YouTube Vloggies 2018” — a reminder of everything I should aspire to be.

Ask your loved ones for help too! It’s OK to lean on others in times of need. Before one of my big interviews earlier this year, my husband left a post-it note attached to my screen saying “You are the ONE”. I was so tense and so nervous, and when I saw the note it made me tear up. As if all my tension and preoccupation suddenly melted away. I’ve never removed it from my display and it’s always in front of me to remind me that YES, I am the one. (It turns out I wasn’t the one for that specific job, but again — their loss! It wasn’t the right opportunity for me and it wasn’t meant to be). Be the ONE for the right opportunity. Just like with dating, you’ll know it when you see it. And it will be worth the wait, the effort, and the tears.

And speaking of tears, it’s totally OK (I would say, expected) to cry at some point. I cried at least a couple of times throughout my job searching process. In case it wasn’t clear by now, looking for a job is a highly emotional experience. Whether you’re a sensitive person or not, your ego, self-confidence, and sense of justice will ultimately be affected. When things don’t go your way, it’s OK to let it all out. Sit with the discomfort, reflect on it, extrapolate some learnings, and then move on! It will feel personal, but it’s really not — it’s just a matchmaking game, and sometimes all you need is a bit of luck. Remember, whoever gets hired into a job is by no means the BEST possible person on the planet for that job. A hiring manager’s goal is not to scout the entire world in search of the BEST person for the job. They’re only selecting the best possible person among a pool of candidates who were lucky, qualified and timely enough to be shortlisted. When you reframe it that way, you’ll see that it’s also a matter of “right time, right place”. (Regardless, no job, employer, recruiter or hiring manager deserves your tears — and remember, karma is a b***h and works in mysterious ways. Done and tested ;))

💞 Some Final Advice For Your Partner And Loved Ones

If it wasn’t clear by now, I’ve been blessed with the most supportive, understanding, wise, and all-round incredible human being as a spouse. He’s not only my husband, but he’s first and foremost my best friend. Needless to say, this whole job searching endeavor would have been a lot darker and more daunting without him supporting me every step of the way and helping recharge my energy levels. But just because he’s strong and emotionally well rounded, that doesn’t mean my 12-month job search didn’t affect and impact him as well.

Be kind to your partner and your loved ones throughout this process. And if they are struggling while trying to support you (or they don’t know how to do it), here’s a list of do’s and don'ts for them, based on our joint experience:

Congratulations! You reached the end of this really long article. My journey may not be universal or applicable to you but — even if you didn’t learn anything that you didn’t already know — I hope it made you feel seen, encouraged and a little less lonely.

Remember the 5 S.T.E.P.S. to thriving in your job search and maintaining wellbeing along the way:

• STRATEGY — Have a plan, know who you are, figure out what you want!
• TOOLS — Lay the foundations, get your infrastructure ready, track your progress!
• ENTOURAGE — Build your dream team of cheerleaders!
• PREPARATION — Define your brand (and packaging), get your stories straight, practice often!
• STAMINA — Take care of yourself along the way, set boundaries, make time to rest and recharge, be compassionate (with yourself and your loved ones).

📣 Finally, repeat after me…

• I’m human and my feelings are valid! It’s OK to have negative thoughts, but they do not define me! 

• I’m perfectly capable (as I demonstrated multiple times before). I’m worthy of a great job!

• I will be treating people with respect and expect respect back! That is not negotiable.

• I will be treating myself and my loved ones with compassion, kindness and patience.

• I will ask for help when I need it.

• I will find a job. And when I do, I won’t tie my self-worth to it.

• I will find a job. I’m not alone. I am the ONE and the right job will find me.

• I’m not alone.

• I’m human. 

• F**k the machines! 

Best of luck with your search my friend! May you find what you’re looking for, both personally and professionally, and learn invaluable lessons along the way. And take care of yourself and your loved ones on this journey, and always.

You got this — you are the one!

~Marco

🤙 Let’s connect!

If you’d like to chat, you can reach me at: hello@flowithmarco.com

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